Someone sent me this through an email, I find it highly inspiring! LoL. Have fun!
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"
Monday, January 16, 2006
Thursday, January 05, 2006
The worries of Malaysia Non-muslim
Religion goes with compassion
By: (Tue, 03 Jan 2006)
http://www.sun2surf.com/articlePrint.cfm?id=12475
Race and religion are two subjects that tend to be extremely touchy. So it is hardly surprising that the country's laws place strong restrictions on their open discussion.
Wrongly handled, these contentious issues can inflame public opinion, with serious consequences for the nation's peace and stability.
The mass media have been mindful of these points for a long time and would rather leave these issues untouched than allow the remarkable tolerance that has been the hallmark of our society to be disturbed in any way.
In addition to the constitutional caveats on questions touching on these two subjects, there are also laws against sedition, and various other pieces of preventive legislation that are meant to
pre-empt the airing of ill-considered opinions that may reverberate through our communities. So there are many reasons why we should not discuss the case of the late commando L/Kpl M. Moorthy, whose widow Kaliammal Sinnasamy is questioning the legality of his conversion to Islam, despite the Syariah Court ruling that it is valid.
In addition, it would be prejudicial to the cause of justice to discuss the High Court ruling, which Kaliammal is appealing, that it has no jurisdiction over the case, since the Syariah Court has accepted Moorthy's conversion.
The point that needs to be made however is far removed from any legal issue. Rather, it concerns the social environment in which we live and how issues that involve inter-communal relations are handled.
For all our sakes, and the harmonious development of our society, we must turn away from narrow, hardline approaches that rob the spirit from the letter of our respective scriptures, leaving us with empty dogma.
Such attitudes, ironically, discredit the spirit of universality and compassion that draw humanity to seek solace in religion.
To walk in the path shown by the leaders of the world's great religions, we should evoke a sense of humility in ourselves, so that what we believe to be correct may be in tune with the wisdom of our religions.
In this spirit, we hope that the members of Moorthy's family can come to terms with the circumstances that they have suddenly found themselves in.
And for the officials on whose shoulders rest the public's confidence in the justice and compassion of our religious institutions, we hope that their judgment reflects as far as humanly possible the unfathomable will of the Almighty.
===
非回教徒的困境updated:2006-01-04 19:18:37 MYT
http://www.sinchew-i.com/commentary/index.phtml?sec=9&sdate=&artid=200601042442
登山英雄（我选择使用这个俗气的形容词来称呼他，因为他究竟是家属口中的莫迪，或是官方记录中的莫哈末阿都拉，已经无从争辩）虽然已经埋葬地底，但是这个国家的宪法和宗教问题，从他下葬那一刻起，却彷如从地底冒了出来。
摆在眼前的两个问题∶回教法是否已经成为国家至高无上的法律？非回教徒的权益是否已经被侵蚀？
当民事法院的法官宣判说，他对本案没有审判权，因为回教法庭的判决，已经是最后的决定。
用简单的语言来诠释，一位民事法庭的法官，承认回教法庭的地位凌驾民事法庭，并且将决定权让予回教法庭；这个结果，替第一个问题提供了参考答案。
由此进入第二个问题，案中的主角，其真正的宗教归属有很多疑点，譬如他是否真正皈依回教？如果已经皈依，却没有遵守回教的规定，是否叛教？
或者，假使他曾经皈依，但在生命中的最后日子，他祭拜兴都神明，依循兴都教徒生活，是否说明他已经脱离回教？
此外，死者遗孀是百份百的兴都教徒，作为一位非回教徒，她入禀民事高庭，却没有获得审理的机会，而她又没有资格向回教法庭上诉，因此她虽然是身份完整的公民，却没有得到法庭应该给予公民的保护，她的权益受到侵蚀，也成为事实。
登山英雄的案件，给了我们一个相当悲观的答案。在现阶段，这也许还是一个参考答案，然而，如果政府没有采取改变措施，而非回教徒社会麻木接受，那麽答案将会随著时间演进而确定下来。
登山英雄的案件，不是第一宗，也不会是最后一宗。如果大家不善忘的话，几年前一名皈依回教的父亲，把两名孩子带入回教，导致孩子的母亲失去抚养权，当时法庭也声称对那位非回教徒母亲的遭遇无能为力。
之前，更有一名私下皈依回教的华裔人士，在他死后，他所有的财产都转归州回教理事会，而他的非回教徒家属一分未得。最后在政治斡旋下，州回教理事会才将部份财产“捐赠”给他的家属。
在回教优先的环境下，一旦涉及回教问题，非回教徒就要面对问题和挫折；而在宗教属於“敏感”课题的思维下，非回教徒缺乏一个发言和争取权益的平台。
联邦宪法121（1a）条文在1988年被修正，规定民事法庭不能介入回教事务，使到回教法庭地位大为提升，这是问题的根源。当下非回教徒应该争取修改121（1A）条文，恢复非回教徒应有的保障。
此外，在皈依问题上，也应该要有比较透明和完整的程序，因为这不只是当事人的选择，而也影响到他的非回教徒家人。
在马来西亚，我们曾经引以为傲的是多元开放，互相尊重的价值；这是马来西亚最值得珍惜的资产，把它摧毁，肯定是最愚蠢的做法。
星洲日报／情在人间?作者∶郑丁贤?2006/01/04
（作者言论不代表星洲日报立场）
By: (Tue, 03 Jan 2006)
http://www.sun2surf.com/articlePrint.cfm?id=12475
Race and religion are two subjects that tend to be extremely touchy. So it is hardly surprising that the country's laws place strong restrictions on their open discussion.
Wrongly handled, these contentious issues can inflame public opinion, with serious consequences for the nation's peace and stability.
The mass media have been mindful of these points for a long time and would rather leave these issues untouched than allow the remarkable tolerance that has been the hallmark of our society to be disturbed in any way.
In addition to the constitutional caveats on questions touching on these two subjects, there are also laws against sedition, and various other pieces of preventive legislation that are meant to
pre-empt the airing of ill-considered opinions that may reverberate through our communities. So there are many reasons why we should not discuss the case of the late commando L/Kpl M. Moorthy, whose widow Kaliammal Sinnasamy is questioning the legality of his conversion to Islam, despite the Syariah Court ruling that it is valid.
In addition, it would be prejudicial to the cause of justice to discuss the High Court ruling, which Kaliammal is appealing, that it has no jurisdiction over the case, since the Syariah Court has accepted Moorthy's conversion.
The point that needs to be made however is far removed from any legal issue. Rather, it concerns the social environment in which we live and how issues that involve inter-communal relations are handled.
For all our sakes, and the harmonious development of our society, we must turn away from narrow, hardline approaches that rob the spirit from the letter of our respective scriptures, leaving us with empty dogma.
Such attitudes, ironically, discredit the spirit of universality and compassion that draw humanity to seek solace in religion.
To walk in the path shown by the leaders of the world's great religions, we should evoke a sense of humility in ourselves, so that what we believe to be correct may be in tune with the wisdom of our religions.
In this spirit, we hope that the members of Moorthy's family can come to terms with the circumstances that they have suddenly found themselves in.
And for the officials on whose shoulders rest the public's confidence in the justice and compassion of our religious institutions, we hope that their judgment reflects as far as humanly possible the unfathomable will of the Almighty.
===
非回教徒的困境updated:2006-01-04 19:18:37 MYT
http://www.sinchew-i.com/commentary/index.phtml?sec=9&sdate=&artid=200601042442
登山英雄（我选择使用这个俗气的形容词来称呼他，因为他究竟是家属口中的莫迪，或是官方记录中的莫哈末阿都拉，已经无从争辩）虽然已经埋葬地底，但是这个国家的宪法和宗教问题，从他下葬那一刻起，却彷如从地底冒了出来。
摆在眼前的两个问题∶回教法是否已经成为国家至高无上的法律？非回教徒的权益是否已经被侵蚀？
当民事法院的法官宣判说，他对本案没有审判权，因为回教法庭的判决，已经是最后的决定。
用简单的语言来诠释，一位民事法庭的法官，承认回教法庭的地位凌驾民事法庭，并且将决定权让予回教法庭；这个结果，替第一个问题提供了参考答案。
由此进入第二个问题，案中的主角，其真正的宗教归属有很多疑点，譬如他是否真正皈依回教？如果已经皈依，却没有遵守回教的规定，是否叛教？
或者，假使他曾经皈依，但在生命中的最后日子，他祭拜兴都神明，依循兴都教徒生活，是否说明他已经脱离回教？
此外，死者遗孀是百份百的兴都教徒，作为一位非回教徒，她入禀民事高庭，却没有获得审理的机会，而她又没有资格向回教法庭上诉，因此她虽然是身份完整的公民，却没有得到法庭应该给予公民的保护，她的权益受到侵蚀，也成为事实。
登山英雄的案件，给了我们一个相当悲观的答案。在现阶段，这也许还是一个参考答案，然而，如果政府没有采取改变措施，而非回教徒社会麻木接受，那麽答案将会随著时间演进而确定下来。
登山英雄的案件，不是第一宗，也不会是最后一宗。如果大家不善忘的话，几年前一名皈依回教的父亲，把两名孩子带入回教，导致孩子的母亲失去抚养权，当时法庭也声称对那位非回教徒母亲的遭遇无能为力。
之前，更有一名私下皈依回教的华裔人士，在他死后，他所有的财产都转归州回教理事会，而他的非回教徒家属一分未得。最后在政治斡旋下，州回教理事会才将部份财产“捐赠”给他的家属。
在回教优先的环境下，一旦涉及回教问题，非回教徒就要面对问题和挫折；而在宗教属於“敏感”课题的思维下，非回教徒缺乏一个发言和争取权益的平台。
联邦宪法121（1a）条文在1988年被修正，规定民事法庭不能介入回教事务，使到回教法庭地位大为提升，这是问题的根源。当下非回教徒应该争取修改121（1A）条文，恢复非回教徒应有的保障。
此外，在皈依问题上，也应该要有比较透明和完整的程序，因为这不只是当事人的选择，而也影响到他的非回教徒家人。
在马来西亚，我们曾经引以为傲的是多元开放，互相尊重的价值；这是马来西亚最值得珍惜的资产，把它摧毁，肯定是最愚蠢的做法。
星洲日报／情在人间?作者∶郑丁贤?2006/01/04
（作者言论不代表星洲日报立场）
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
2006 New Year Resolution
What is my 2006 new year resolution?
It is actually my year 2005's new year resolution since I did not get to fulfil it this year.
Then what was my 2005 new year resolution?
Well, it is actually the year 2004 new year resolution.
Aha......
So, what exactly was your 2004 new year resolution then?
I can't remember that, it is too long ago
...
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE
It is actually my year 2005's new year resolution since I did not get to fulfil it this year.
Then what was my 2005 new year resolution?
Well, it is actually the year 2004 new year resolution.
Aha......
So, what exactly was your 2004 new year resolution then?
I can't remember that, it is too long ago
...
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
all about AIDS
Author's note:
Muahahaha... no one can do this better than the sarcastic Michael Ooi himself. I thought I should include this entry to here since the government was talking about implementing sex education in school. What about the public then? They need some sort of information too in my opinion. Perhaps what Michael suggested would help.
posting origin at http://www.michaelooi.net/archives/2005/09/all_about_aids.html
==========
Muahahaha... no one can do this better than the sarcastic Michael Ooi himself. I thought I should include this entry to here since the government was talking about implementing sex education in school. What about the public then? They need some sort of information too in my opinion. Perhaps what Michael suggested would help.
posting origin at http://www.michaelooi.net/archives/2005/09/all_about_aids.html
==========
There has been some sort of awareness campaign at my workplace about AIDS. Each time I passes by our employee entrance, I'd see that bunch of posters on display at the corridor. Lots of them ... complete with graphics and all that. I must have walked past those heaps of posters for at least a few dozen times, but I never actually took a glance at it. I just knew that it's about AIDS (from the red ribbon).
Yesterday, while waiting for my colleagues during lunchhour, I sauntered over to the bunch of displays and took some time to read those stuffs up (instead of ogling at girls). Well, to my surprise, it's actually kinda cool. I figured out those posters are actually in Bee Em ! Bahasa Melayu !
And I was baffled at the ke-canggih-ness of the Bee Em on those posters. The messages, they're so professionally written. But then after studying it for a while, I began to wonder. These messages ... who are the intended audiences ? Well generally, to the public ... of course. But those that are exposed to the risks of AIDS, are mostly people who adopts whoring as their favourite past time... gay dudes who gets impaled frequently by schlongs... drug addicts ... basically, those who's not very bright academically.
If you get my drift, you would have realized that mostly these people, they're in no position to understand the messages on these posters at all. Words like "zakar", "sel" or perhaps "keimunan" - they're simply too complex for them to understand. Like, how could you expect primary school dropouts & uneducated junkies to understand such canggih words ? What's a "faraj" ? I have a friend named Fardan ler... could Faraj be his brother ? So on.
They'll probably go through a couple of lines, then walk the fuck off. That means, those awareness campaign posters would be good for nothing.
So ..that prompted me to ask... what could be a more effective way to convey these informative messages to those that in need of the knowledge ? The answer is - Bahasa Pasar. Colloquial language and slangs. The junkies and ass fuckers knew it like the back of their hands. That's their spoken language and primary form of communication. Like... what could be better than to communicate with them in their own language ?
I was thinking, if the government could hand out free condoms and needles for these people ... why can't they print posters with Bahasa Pasar messages to suit their needs ? Here's an example how it could have been done ...
~~~~~~
Woi ! Pukimak lu orang ! Tau ka apa tu AIDS ?? Tak tau kalu... dengar. Sudah tau kalu, main jauh-jauh... GEDEBUSHHHH
Ni AIDS ... bukan nama awek. Tapi sejenis penyakit cilakak tarak ubat mia. Dia masuk sama lu punya badan, kasi itu power lingkup... and bikin lu mia badan tarak defend. Tarak defend kalu ... maknanya ... kamu kena apa-apa pukimak mia sakit, pun tak boleh sembuh lar tu.
Since ini AIDS tarak ubat, apa yang you orang boleh bikin, ialah control you punya kelakuan ler... Kata orang, ini penyakit moral... So kat sini, nak bagi kau orang tau sikit, apa macam ini AIDS merebak. Penyakit kaliampun ni, merebak melalui 3 cara:
1) Kongkek tarak betuih
AIDS boleh merebak melalui itu cheebye mia kuah ... masuk sama lu mia luncheow. Kalau you tak pasti sama you mia markah bersih ka tarak, lebih baik jangan syiok-syiok kongkek. Itu ayam-ayam, bohsia-bohsia, binatang-binatang, jembalang-jembalang ataupun you mia pondan mia markah... lebih baik jangan kacau. Kalau tak leh tahan, kongkek guna kondom. Kalau tarak kondom... guna beg plastik hitam tong sampah ... ataupun guna belon pun boleh gak. Tapi kalau yang itu pun tarak, lebih baik suruh you mia partner hisap... ataupun goncang sendiri dalam tandas ... (ingat, jangan hisap dekat Singapura !)
2)Darah transfer
Itu darah transfer pun boleh kena AIDS. Tarak peduli sama ada you mia makwe gigit kotek you luka dan sembur darah masuk ke ... atau pun you kongsi cucuk jarum sama itu hisap dadah mia orang ke ... semua pun boleh kena. Kalau you cucuk jarum dadah, you mesti mau ingat guna itu baru punya jarum. (adalah lebih baik jangan hisap dadah...). Kalau makwe cuba nak gigit, terajang & sepak sama dia sampai gigi patah.
3) Bini bunting, anak kena
Haa.. bila you keluar kongkek sama ayam, balik rumah kongkek bini ... bini bunting... lu mia anak pun akan kena jugak (bini pun kena sekali... jahanam keluarga). You sama bini bungkus cukuplah, tapi apasai mau kasi you mia anak susah ? Ni kera pun tak bikin ini macam sama dia mia family. Kalau sudah kongkek sama ayam, adalah lebih baik kamu pegi check sama you mia doktor sebelum kongkek - sama ada you kena AIDS ke tidak. Ataupun, you boleh guna itu bukak durian mia pisau... dan penggal kepala hotak hang (niiii gerenti bini tak kena).
tapi, engkorang semua toksah panik... AIDS ni, tidak merebak melalui air liur. You boleh cium/jilat sama you mia bini ataupun makwe, it's ok. AIDS juga tidak boleh merebak melalui sentuhan. Maknanya, you boleh raba sama apa-apa makhluk yang kamu stim, steady mia... (tapi mesti ingat, kena tanya dulu, takut masuk lokap). Dan akhir sekali, AIDS juga tidak boleh rebak melalui you mia air kencing ataupun taik. You boleh bau atau main sama depa ... gerenti selamat.
Sekian.
~~~~~~
I guess I wasn't that good in my Bahasa Pasar either. Perhaps someone can come up with an even more awesome version of it. But hey, what the fuck, as long as the message gets across. It's all for the good of the people (now you know, this site is not ALL EVIL...)
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Going Home - Air Asia
In case you are curious how we got home. Heh...
We were very luck that day, as there was this particular rare cloud formation seen from the window afar.
We were very luck that day, as there was this particular rare cloud formation seen from the window afar.
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