Thursday, October 27, 2005

I caused a petrol kiosk to shut down

But I did not did that on purpose, and it just lasted for near 1 hour okay.

Its weird, let the pump on, went into the shop's ATM to get some cash, came out, in great shock to find the petrol overflowed!!!

So so so much of petrol flowing out from the tank while the pump is still inside. Reminds me of the pipe burst when Water Department not doing their job good enough.

Anyway, I ran to the cashier shouting to her what happened. She panicked.

Guess what she did??? She hit the emergency button, there goes the electricity.

So, I waited there, the staffs just waited here, and there are few person reluctant to leave despite knowing they can't get any petrol temporarily. They just stand there, reading newspaper there without paying. Hahaha...

Fortunately, a electrician that wanted to pump petrol came to the rescue. He helped them to turn on the electricity. Then the boss of the kiosk came too. He made the staffs return the total amount I paid for my petrol. In a way, it means that I get this time petrol for free!!!

Well, in a way. Because after all I've spent my 1 hour there doing nothing.

How sweet of her, when I left she actually told me "Please feel free to come again"

*roll eyes*

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Where does my love goes wrong??

Where does my love goes wrong???
Let Dana guide you out from this relationship deadlock.

Are you recently out from a relationship? Are you wondering why all the guys you meet suck a big time?? Did your relationship give you pain endlessly without knowing why?

Many time in our life, when our relationship goes wrong, we will first ask "Where does my love goes wrong???" "Why doesn't thing work out like I have planned, despite how much efforts I put into this relationship?" "How come he has become such a jerk, even though things has been great at the beginning?"

I, recently, has an enlightenment on this. Some of you might know how upset I once was, due to a disasterous previous relationship. For now, I feel that I have achieve somewhat peaceful inner self. Because of how great this feel, I will tell you how you can get yourself out from this no end moaning base on my experience.

1. Do you want this relationship?

Girls like me, always wanting to give out so much to our man. When our relationship went sour, the first thing we ask is that "Why doesn't he want anymore of our perfect relationship? I mean, this was like so right, and we were meant for each other!"

No no no, you should stop yourself from asking that from now on. Because, it is time for you to re-think the situation for yourself. Do you still want a part of this relationship? After what had happened, do you still think this relationship is suitable for you?

2. Why is he doing this to me, when he says he love me so much?

So what even if he promise you the moon??? I mean, no one doubt his sincerity when he say he will love you for the rest of his life, AT that particular moment of course. But things change you know, people changes too. Perhaps after what you have read here, your thoughts will change too. Cut the long story short, no one really know what happens tomorrow, we just flow with the tides and make the most out of it. People come, people go, and you just got to deal with it. That is just how life is!

3. How come he is such a jack ass???

Beware that when you are saying this to your friends. It can reflect you badly okay. When you are calling your man, or the ex with names, ever imagine why would people think about you. Of course they would be wondering, if he is such a stupid jerk, why would she be so stupid to spend her time and patience with someone so worthless at the first place??

4. I regret knowing him

But no one forced you to fall in love with him at the first place! Regret is a little late per se.

Next time, try something like "I have love before, and I treasure every special moments of it". After all, they say it is a priviledge that you have the chance to love and care for someone you adore so much. It is much stronger than those that never understand love, or have a chance to it.

5. I love him so much, but why why why is he doing this to me?

Love, and genuine love, expects no return of favor or any sort of things. Love can only be given, and cannot be demanded.

Chant that as a mantra to yourself.

6 Be Happy

Be happy, in my opinion, and to many others, it is basic right to everyone. Every people deserve to be happy in one way or another. If that person has been giving you so much pain, why would you still want to spend so much time thinking of his/her wrong doings to you? What, is that person a VIP that has right to your previous time? That is right, if he is such worthless, then lets spend less time on this worthless person that wasted your time before this. I myself don't understand, why if it is painful, people just keep on moaning over it and not do a thing???

7. Be Happy for That person too.

I mean, if you seriously love that person so much, it hurts you too knowing that bad things happen to him right? They say lah, revenge is sweet. However in reality it never work that way, it does feel hurtful if bad things happen to him.

The relationship ended, and I am sure he is not feeling at his best as well. If you keep on doing him bad things, even yourself won't be feeling happy too as you keep marinating yourself in this terrible past.

When it is time to let go, you have no choice. While doing that, at least you know that person you sincerely love is happier now, and will be great in whatever he wants to do. Isn't that for the best?


If you feel disappointed that your partner, ex has not been reciprocal with your giving out. The most likely you are in this relationship with a very wrong reason.

We get attracted to our partner by the way he look, he speaks, he sees things. Maybe in more deptness, our breath are taken away by his knowledge, his dreams, his passion. At any point of time, we are just attracted to his speciality. This is not genuine love at all. More like admiration?

If you find yourself alone again, and you feel very lonely. That is because you have not love yourself enough. Can you imagine, two beggars that has nothing to offer, but wanting more from each other? That would be a total disaster isn't it?

Love, a way of giving

A person that has enough of love him/her self exudes confident, happiness, and has a lot to offer for people. He/she find it perfectly alright to enjoy life alone. When a person has enough love for him/her self, then he/she will have more to give out for others. That then, will be the perfect time to be in a responsible, respectful and strong relationship.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Koizumi and His Shrine

You know, I went to Japan for a 5 weeks visit as a Youth Exchance student in 1998. Until now, I am still marvelled over such advance technology that the Japanese has. With that short period of visit, I find myself to be very lucky because I have very close ties with my Japanese host families even till now. I find them totally different from what I've thought of a Japanese. I can't seemed to related those terrible ones that once stomped on all chinese during world war 2.

But for know, it really ticked me to see Japan Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi continuosly paying homage to the WWII so called "Hero" at the shrine, again and again.

Did you know, the terrible Japanese emperor behind the WWII was never brought to court despite what he has done to millions of chinese throughout Asia region? US has decided to give him cover, because of the advantageous they could get, that they hope to protect upon. They had given him sanction base on the reason that it is better this way, so that Japan was easier to be controlled.

Did you also know, the Japanese had many times used innocent people in remote china for their sickening Lab Rat test? For biological and chemical warfare testing that cost a whole village vanish just over night? Then they quickly buried the bodies simply by blasting some rocks from the cliffs onto them?

Did you also know, there were many of my relatives that I eventually found out, were victims of this crazy manslaughter for no reason? They were called on one night to the riverside, and then in darkness being shoot down by machine guns for no reason at all!!!

The are just few of the examples, there were so many more bitter stories than any of the chinese that been through WWII can tell you. This is definately a bitter and shameful past that the chinese sufferred quietly all the while, especially Mainland China.

Call us youngster for not giving a shit to the old past, but for me as I grew older I do find what happened during WWII kinda hard to swallow. In fact, I actually feel guilty to be once idolizing the Japanese culture that much.

Perhaps I shall start my own very personal boycott against the Japanese product for sometime. And guess what, my dad has decided he too is doing his bit to boycott the Japanese by not buying the Toyota Camry he originally wanted.

Are you doing you bit too?

The Star 18th October 2005
Koizumi visits war shrine, China and South Korea protest

Thursday, October 13, 2005



They call it the "QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling INSECURE and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get HOT and SCARED because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are SELFISH and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really COLD or CATTY or mean or insincere, but that they are as CONFUSED as you are. You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the COMFORTS of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all. You are beginning to UNDERSTAND yourself and what you want and do not want. Your OPINIONS have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain BOUNDARIES in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are INSECURE and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you cry and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or MOVE FORWARD. The stupid ones PLATEAU, the smart ones rise. You get your HEARTBROKEN and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look PATHETIC. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a DECISION. You wonder what in the hell is wrong with you. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a CONTENDER! We are making a lot of MISTAKES, but helping one another LEARN from them. We will piss one another off, and laugh at the end of a conversation that started with angry words. We are a group that talks behind the backs of the same people we call to meet up with on a Friday night, but we are sorry about it and we know that we were just being insecure like they have been. What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it and we are all in this together. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to FIGURE this whole thing out. We are friends, and in 10 years we will be friends who have figured out where we fit in this world.

" We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give"
- Winston Churchill

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Delamu <茶马古道-德拉姆>

With films such as The Horse Thief, The Blue Kite and Springtime in a Small Town, Tian Zhuangzhuang established himself as a major filmmaker in the Fifth Generation. His new documentary deals with the Tea-Horse Road, one of the two traditional trade routes connecting China and Europe. While the Silk Road ran to the north, the Tea-Horse route went south traversing rugged mountain country from Yunnan province into Tibet. The film deals with a section of this spectacular trek which is still accessible only on horseback. It balances its strikingly beautiful landscapes with low-key interiors in which interviewees huddle over flickering fires as they discuss the religious and ethnic diversity of these regions, the best ways to understand horses, or what it feels like to be 104. Tian's vision is of a landscape rich in wonder and in the history of people who somehow endure there.

Reviews“The film not only documents a side of Chinese culture that is slowly but surely fading away, but visits people living a simple lifestyle that is a throwback to another age.”

Mark Deming, New York Times

历史深处的忧虑 田壮壮用影像歌咏茶马古道 2005/10/09
Source: Nanyang Siang Pau











Authors note:

I have yet to watch it, but you can be sure when it is shown here I will go for it in no time. Can't blame me if I bought pDVD okay, because it is hard to get some of the good movies here sometimes.


《帕洛玛》文/黄柏源/木马出版2004年11月出版 - Kinokuniya: RM27.52

序:我在学海周刊推荐之下买了这本书。 读过后感觉非常的棒! 一读之下便不能释手。在此也请大家有机会就去买本读读吧!















Friday, October 07, 2005


I was having a meeting at the conference room downstair this morning, and there was someone ringing the bell from outside. My colleague opened the door for the delivery guy. He came in with a big bouquet of pink lilies. Everyone just stopped doing their things and look at this beautiful flowers.

At first I thought it was for me, from someone, perhaps Mark. The colleague then looked at receipient, pointed the delivery guy to upstair.

For a while, one or two second, I really did hope that it was for me. Althought I might not know how I would like to respond if I was the receipient, but it would be great to be flattered with such nice flowers.

Well, it was not for me, but for Ms. Wong from the account dept. She just got married last year, yet her husband seems every loving after being together a year by sending her those nice flowers.

I was a little disappointed, mixed by a somewhat jealous feeling. It was then I remember reading this little article from

De-grudging yourself

The more carefully you remember every aspect of previous pains, the less you are able to notice present positives. The more busy you are with always keeping score, the less you are able to play, and win the game.

The more you allow yourself to continue to marinade in old grievances, the more you condemn yourself to stick in the old bad moods, and to miss opportunities to recognise the reasons for feeling better. The less energy you spend on revisiting the pains of the past, the more you have for creating a much more positive present and future.

Of course you feel reluctant to "give in". But letting go of past hurts isn't surrendering - indeed, hugging all the hurts of the past is surrendering to them, and allowing them to colour and shape your present and your future. Waiting for the person who hurt you to do some specific form of penance is a sterile occupation. Giving up your grudges isn't giving them a clean slate - it's giving it to yourself.

How true what this person have said. It seemed so "Zen" like, yet philosophical, but very true to my heart.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Shoulder Ache

Sign, it has made a come back. Damn this pain getting more and more painful

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Blood Donation

Usually I will be forced to donate about 0.5ul (read as microlitre, which in calculation is 1/1000 of a mL) of my blood to these blood suckers in the Taman Kiara Rimba in TTDI. Yeah, it is a nice place here for a morning walk, mostly uphill and and downhill. The creeks actually still have very clear water running in them!!!

Anyway, today I think I donated a little bit, about 2mL. Was walking walking walking, then out of nothing the left leg like no energy and there I fell, into an akward kneeling position. And there goes my knee, all badly scratch up. Later on blood seemed seeping out, and all the aunties walking pass say "Aiyoo!" and pitied my plight. My dad suggested me to use the leave to scrap away the blood coming down from the wound. Eeek!

Hai... very painful neh...