Thursday, November 25, 2004

All About Relationship

Once not so long ago, the naive me thought that love and relationship is made up of romance, fairy tale weddings, honesty and perhaps peppered with lots of gift exchanges. These days, well, I don't really think I feel that old, but that certain maturity tells me that I believe in trust more when comes to relationship. I have been caught in a situation of betrayal before, so I know very well I will not be able to trust again, no matter how hard I tried to revive the relationship after that.

However, if you would ask me if trust is all it takes to make a relationship works, I say no way to that. A woman that do no want to be labelled as the typical blonde should sticks out her antenna and be very alert to her relationship all time. She should be warned even thought there is a slightest changes to this relationship. After all, you just don't want to be the last one to know why you were ditch isn't it? Spying they might call it, but from time to time you just got to test water even thought you can get burn from it. Alas, the fate of a woman looking to complete her ideal life is so sad and depressing! I guess, be careful and dont get discovered is the only way to this.

It does not neccesary mean that you are suspecting him trying to two time outside, it could be an indirect observation to learn the better side of him. Trust me, it will give tremendous positive effect if you do it right. For example, seeing him looking at particular shirt, and you buy it as a birthday gift for him later to surprise him. He could feel that he is treasured, and there you go, a guy that love you more.

Man, in general sense they don't take a lot to maintain. In fact, most of them are pretty self sustain these days as they live alone while studying in oversea. Don't assume they are guys and you don't need shower them with TLC (Tender Loving Care). They appreciate TLC just like us girl, but in reality guys are too 'man' to manja for it.

Anyway, I am not into TLC part today. What I need to say is that, being alert in a relationship, is actually more important for the woman. It is one essential way to protect ourselves from being hurt. Man are so irresistable when you get closer to them at the first place, but be careful they can take your pride and self esteem away at the time you are least aware of. Look at my close friend, few get two timed, while some still refuse to leave because they actually looking for the silver linings to come by one of these days. Doh...

It is a vicious cycle nonetheless. We try our very best to find out what our love ones are doing behind our back, on the hand we have fear deep within our heart wondering if we could handle the worst truth if we find out. But I guess, a perfect life too consist of take risk at one point of time. After all, when we look back at what we do, what most essential is that we still care for this person, which was why we were doin this act at the first place. If our heart decides to move on, all the fear and insecurity caused by such scenario does not matter anymore to us.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Sex Education

How did you first found out the way human beings replicate themselves? Were you first told by your parents that you were being delivered by the stork? Or did your aunt laughed while telling you, that you came to this world when that big rock that hold you blasted apart as lighting striked it?

Whatever myth and tale these people are trying to convey, I definately think that it is a bad bad start for sex education. That is because when he grow older, he will eventually have more question than ever, especially when he watches the movies/television program these days. The more the parents hide it, the more the child become curious. What more that the child might get the wrong information from start? This probably explain why I heard a child would think that baby will comes if a boy and a girl kissed.

I still remembers that my mom would actually still tear away the sex Q&A column from the newspaper that we subscribe to, when I was in my first year at the university. Till now, I could still laugh a little remember my puzzled self trying to figure out why the newspaper was torn from time to time. Apart from laughing, there are somewhat a sense of regret that my parent wouldn't teach me the correct approach when comes to communicate on the topic of sex.

I mean, this is not only happening in my own family. In fact, majority of the Malaysian society are behaving this way, when our dear Prime Minister is trying hard to advance us to the new millenium. A new airport, tall buildings, ultra modern infrastructure, but what use of these advancement when people still detest if a program on the television show two person just touching lips! Like what I say to my colleague during lunch just now, we look too far ahead in planning, till we neglected to plan on things just right in front of our eyes.

Take a look at my current neighbour now, he actually told us off not to hang my underwear facing his god's altar. Typical chinese that thinks anything we place near our vagina is dirty enough to cause bad luck for his lifetime (perhaps even the next life too. Duh!. Sometimes I have half the nerve to tell him that, though the vagina is dirty and bad luck (to him), but ironically, that is where he first came into this world. Was he the bad omen then, to his parent?

My colleague, on the other hand were very lucky that her parent were not that conservative. At that moment when she behaving curiously about sex, her mom actually took the initiative to sit down with her and watch porn with her! She taught her the anatomy of human beings, and stuffs like safe sex etc... that really makes me respect her mother.

Sex is not dirty, it has been defamed by the society that advance in material, but not mentally.

Monday, November 22, 2004

At Mike's Blog

Hey, and you think there is only war in the tmnet.communities newsgroup? Wait till you see these bunch of people here at

I am not sure how the whole situation arise, but it sure is fun to read the things that mike manage to come up with! :P

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Guilty neh~

Since small, I might be mischevious, but I think so far I have not done anything that hurts anyone though. I might steal some coins here and there, lied that there was test or exams, but I really am a kind hearted soul deep within. Hey, it is true, who on earth would bring two kittens that were coated in grease home to clean and feed them? And who on earth would actually feel guilty when not donating to the charity guy that come disturbing me while I am having lunch in a kopitiam?

But reality bites, the more you act nice, the more life wants from you. My grandma thinks I ain't caring her enough anymore since I ain't visiting her often (I think). Even my parents now say they feel hurt deep inside, just because I want to move out and have a life on my own. And guess what, now I actually feel guilty over this fact. I have actually no idea why I would feel guilty when living away from home is actually something to celebrate about.

Doesn't the wise one says true love is unconditional and does not seek reciprocal action? But as I've grown up, I realise that our parental love to us are conditional. If we do not conform to the norm of the society to always take care our age old parent, then we are deemed the rebels.

This is not good. The children will never be able to fully outgrown their own abilities.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Selamat Hari Raya

Nice! Got invited to two Raya Open House today. One at my colleague place, while the other one is my customer.

After visiting these two homes, I do realise Malays have very great potential when comes to interior decoration. Either with minute or big budget, they can make a house into a comfortable place call home. Even simplest looking flowers could turned living space alive unknowingly.

Had very good lemang at my colleague place, together with kuah kacang (Yum!). Her house is in deep Ampang area, that is such kampung like. Apparently her father actually went into that jungle opposite to get bamboos to make the lemang that they served us!

While at my customer place later, her living room actually featured a fully wallpapered designs. And guess what, it was a creation done between her and her son. Mark and I really had a great time chatting with her, while getting to know our Malay friends better. After this visit, I felt very warm hearted knowing in life, we can be just as close with our customer, as a way of a friend too.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

While driving for Ikan Bakar

Was in Malacca for a getaway holiday during this Deepa Raya strech of long holiday, with Mark and his mom. Both of them decided to drive on a old trunk road from Ujong Pasir to Serkam (Half way to Muar) for Ikan Bakar dinner. So I realise that Ikan Bakar is something very special at Malacca, especially in the Malay cuisine.

While we were driving, I realise many people not heeding our Prime Minister advise for a safe drive home at all. Saw the lorries still hogging the roads, while others overtake impatiently yet recklessly. Wonder why Malaysians are just that stubborn. Why they just can't think for themselves.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Computer Blues

My IBM G40 actually looks like a real dinasaur in this tech savy lifetime where most gears come in sleek and slim design. I should already suspect that it won't last that long when I first got it from the dealer. What to do, when I have sucha stingy director, so much so he allows only RM4000 budget allocation. :-(

I had to do a big presentation using it with our new sharp LCD projector on last week. Just when I needed it most, it decided to take a break! The port connecting to the external monitor was found faulty. No matter what Io, how much I try to tweak here and there the projector just would not show anything.

Just got to send it back to the IBM factory, since not even our dealer knows what is wrong with it. I will keep my fingers cross that I might get a new one in exchange to this dinasaur!!!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Blue Tuesday

Why must Monday always be the blue one, I am feeling blue on tuesday now. What are you gonna do about it??? I just don't know, after rushing around in UPM whole day, I felt so tired, miserable actually. I am still guessing what causes it. Was it because Dr. Majid, my favourite customer got upset with me for not fulfilling my promise of giving him a dinner treat???

Or maybe it was because my best friend Emily called me from Melbourne at 5ish? Perhaps I felt like a bummer myself after talking to her, since I haven't been achieving much at this age near 30's. You might wanna know she is a very bright first class honors student, that got offered with a full board scolarship to student at RMIT in Melbourne for a PhD program.

It might be due the amount of work that is swarming over me, till I am not sure where to start tackling them. A little daunting, since I always give 100% to whatever that is demanded from me, yet there is so little in return. Someone just email to ask me, she is interested in using a capillary electropheresis to examine amino acids. For god sake, how on earth would I know if a capillary electropheresis machine would do that???

Wanna bet she most likely not buying anything from me, even though I manage to give a satifying answer after that???

What ever it is, for now, I think I need to watch a movie to relax a little I shall not be bothered with the house chores, the hairs at the sink, nor the dusty floor that is driving me nuts.